When my brother invited me to take a holiday with him in Thailand, I jumped at the chance. I know he wanted to go there to get jumped - it being the sex capital of the world; I just wanted to spend some time on the beautiful beaches. No fucky-fucky for me. Little did I know that I would end up fucking my way out of a fine.

Just strolling through the streets one night, my brother wanted to go into a brothel. I just wanted to site at a quiet bar and watch the world go by. So we separated and went our own way. My brother likes to pay for sex, he says if they don’t do it right you can make they do it all over again, until they do, do it right.

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We went our separate ways, agreeing to meet at the hotel later, and I found a nice quite bar and settled down to meet some locals. Needing to smoke, I went outside and stood on the pavement, there was a cop across the road and his eyes met mine, so we cordially greeted one-another.

Watching him from beneath my lashes, I enjoyed my cigarette and threw it on the floor to kill it. As I was about to walk back into the bar for another drink, I felt someone grab me by the inside of my elbow.

Thinking I was about to be mugged I turned around fast to swipe my would-be mugger with my handbag, and just in time, saw it was the policeman. "Maa’m, please accompany me to the police vehicle." What the heck was going on?

Images of a Thai prison flashed across my mind and then, I thought to ask what was the reason for the fine? "For dropping your cigarette, it is a 0 fine." Oh god, this was about all my spending money, how could I get out of this? I charmed him.

The last thing I wanted to do was land up in a Thai prison, and I said, that I didn’t know I was breaking the law - he explain this was not a good enough excuse. When in Rome, do as the Romans. I asked how I could avoid getting the fine.

So this was how I found myself in a police car, fucking with a Thai cop, illegally on Phuket Beach, and actually having a really good time. Hell this was worth every cent of the 0, and I now wouldn’t have to pay it. In fact the whole thing went down so well that he asked me out the next night.

We saw each other a few times after that, asnd he even took me for dinner at his family home, which was interesting, but the fucking was never so good as that first illicit fuck on the beach. Thank God he didn’t turn out to be an axe murderer or a pervert.

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